Calling my Dom, Sir

I have continued my online journey further over the past couple weeks and I am learning a lot about myself. I am now of the belief that I was always intended for this alternative way of life. For me, it seems, it was never really as alternative as necessary. For me, it seems, I am learning that I always desired to have a Dom in my life. I just didn't know it until recently realizing this in my heart as well as my mind.

One of the things I am struggling with involves the way to communicate with my online Dom. I am to call him "Sir" but it doesn't always sound right to me. Sometimes I want to refer to him as My Master or Dom. However, he only accepts Sir. In fact, I am learning, through my own weakness and errors, that I am to always address him with the beginning or ending of Sir. It is odd. These words forming in my mouth. But, I am learning.

My Dom has continued to teach me things that I didn't realize or know about myself. Many of these, surprising to me, don't deal with sex at all. I think my initial perspective revolved around the sexual nature. I thought of learning to serve in a sexual way and learning how to please my Do, dominance and discipline or punishment. However, I don't think I ever realized how much of the BDSM lifestyle did not involve thoughts in a sexual way. Indirectly, the thought is always there. However, many times, it is not addressed. Instead, I find my panties soaking with anticipation of my next chat or my next direction or instruction.

Despite not really ever 'seeing' my online Dom, I am finding myself drawn to his wisdom, his intelligence and his inner beauty. Make no mistake, though, he has a gorgeous body and a handsome face. While I've not seen this in person, we have shared webcam sessions on Alt.com and I am not being trained by some unattractive, anonymous man.

I look forward to each day with my new found Dom. While we've no contractual relationship, I am excited for this new found life. I am still open, and - honestly - hopeful that some day I'll take another step toward a more 'phusical' Dom. But for now, I am learning about things in an environment that is comfortable (and, admittedly, a bit uncomfortable) and learning a lot about myself and the BDSM life.