Is Anyone Reading This? A BDSM Dream

I've began wondering if anyone is even interested in what I am writing. I am trying to determine how to proceed in my desire for a relationship that evolves into something...more. I know that I desire this within the realm of BDSM. I know that I've always craved this and that it is something that is deep within who I am.

The other night, I awoke from a dream. In the dream, I was being restrained, held down with my hands behind my back...tied. A stranger, but someone familiar to me was telling me what to do. There was something tight on my neck. I can't be clear on whether it was a collar or his hands choking me as his cock was inches from my lips. He was telling me to take it in my mouth or he would turn me over and force it in his ass. I craved sucking his cock but I couldn't reach it with my lips...no matter how hard I tried. He kept telling me to take it and I had my lips open to take it but couldn't reach it. I awoke, sweating but chilled. It was like he was within my reach but so far away.

Perhaps this is how I feel about where I am at in my search. I realize what I want, that I want to please, that I want to be 'owned'. But I couldn't reach it. It is out of my grasp and perhaps I am too scared to take the next step into making this a reality. Perhaps I fear what I want. Perhaps I am not ready. Perhaps....he is waiting to find me and simply needs me to try just a bit harder to find him.