Looking to Sign Up for a BDSM Personals Website

So I've decided that I need to take some action if I am to carry out my New Year's resolution and locate a truly worthy Dominant man.  I have considered a way to do this discreetly while also getting serious about my quest.  I am considering doing an online profile on a adult personals website in order to begin my search.

I am really a 'hands-on' person.  By that, I mean I like to find, in my own sphere of influence and contacts, my dates.  I am not really too excited, to be honest, about searching for an online date - especially a BDSM date! LOL  It's scary.  I've perused Craigslist.  I've looked at a free website called CollarMe.  There isn't a lot there that attracts me.  It seems dark, scary and perhaps a bit too dangerous for me.

There is also FetLife.  I signed up for a free membership there some time back but canceled it because it seemed there were a lot of creeps on there.   I may re-try this one again but for now, I am going to leave that one dormant.

Recently, I checked out ALT.com.  It looks a lot like another website I was on some time back, Adultfriendfinder.  In fact, it may be run by the same company.  I like the look of the profiles on there.  It appeals to a bit 'broader' area than simply BDSM (bondage, kink and fetish) but I like to format. So, I've decided to give it a try.

I have already received a lot of replies...and I've not even filled out my description much yet.  I guess perhaps a lot of people just find the profile from a local area search, look at the photos I've posted and decide to take a chance.  I've not responded to many yet.  To be honest, my responses haven't been much more than a couple sentence response.  I feel a little bad about that because some of them have really poured some effort into their messages to me.  I am going to spend a bit more time looking around on Alt.com.

So tell me, dear readers of this blog...what websites do you recommend I try?  I'd also be curious to know what area of the country you are in (your exact location not necessary LOL).  It seems like ALT has quite a number of Doms in my area so that's encouraging.  But what I guess I am asking is...are there some sites that are better for some areas of the country?

It's Valentine's and All I Crave is to be Tied Up

So today is Valentine's Day and I am still single with no prospects of finding the man I desire.  While normally that would be pause for me to become depressed about my otherwise 'relationship-less' life, I am smiling today.  Instead, I know that today I am single because I choose to be.  I could be with a man.  I've many offers. Trust me. But I see the alternative.

But the men I see, while sometimes coming off as 'alpha'-types, I see through their facade.  I realize that when push-comes-to-shove, most men don't understand what being a dominant man is really about.  The vanilla men I encounter are too 'metrophied'.  They've been told that they need to be courteous, have good manners, treat a girl with 'respect'.  While I agree with some of those qualities, what they lack is real substance at being the 'alpha' male I crave.  I seek one that can control me while respecting me, have my greater interest in mind but also know that he is in control.  I seek what I can not find through the normal channels. I seek a BDSM relationship built on trust, control, role and substance.

So to all of you celebrating this very beloved of christian valued holidays, I wish you the best.  As for me, I've committed myself to learning more about, expanding my horizons and finding what I desire. I crave to be a true submissive.

Mainstream, Alternative or Indie Movies that Reflect BDSM

I was watching a movie the other night, Columbiana, about a strong woman that had a tramatic early life.  I was thinking to myself how my own early age molded me into the woman I am today.  I know that I was sexually aware at an early age.  I also know that, very early on, I desired something that has evolved into what I am today...a woman that seeks to be submissive to an 'alpha male'.

My thoughts also came around to thinking about other movies.  Movies that reflected - and not in a negative way - the BDSM lifestyle.  Perhaps one where there existed a love story about a dominant man and a submissive woman that existed for the good of both.  I know I was drawn into the movie "Secretary". If you've not seen it, it is a wonderful love story that reflects much of my thought on how I see a 'relationship' existing.  James Spader may very well be my dream man!

I did a search on IMdb for BDSM and Bondage and came up with a few titles with which I am not familiar.  I was wondering if anyone has any advice on movies that reflect the lifestyle in a positive, instructive way (but not a documentary...I like story lines!).  Suggestions?

Is Anyone Reading This? A BDSM Dream

I've began wondering if anyone is even interested in what I am writing. I am trying to determine how to proceed in my desire for a relationship that evolves into something...more. I know that I desire this within the realm of BDSM. I know that I've always craved this and that it is something that is deep within who I am.

The other night, I awoke from a dream. In the dream, I was being restrained, held down with my hands behind my back...tied. A stranger, but someone familiar to me was telling me what to do. There was something tight on my neck. I can't be clear on whether it was a collar or his hands choking me as his cock was inches from my lips. He was telling me to take it in my mouth or he would turn me over and force it in his ass. I craved sucking his cock but I couldn't reach it with my lips...no matter how hard I tried. He kept telling me to take it and I had my lips open to take it but couldn't reach it. I awoke, sweating but chilled. It was like he was within my reach but so far away.

Perhaps this is how I feel about where I am at in my search. I realize what I want, that I want to please, that I want to be 'owned'. But I couldn't reach it. It is out of my grasp and perhaps I am too scared to take the next step into making this a reality. Perhaps I fear what I want. Perhaps I am not ready. Perhaps....he is waiting to find me and simply needs me to try just a bit harder to find him.

What I Know, What I Desire in a Dominant Man

I am venturing into this world from something far more straightforward. These words are my first steps so I trying to be careful to phrase things appropriately.  I'm hopeful of finding strength and wisdom from someone who can take me to the places I only now know in my head. I desire to be a submissive.

The vision in my head is neither finite nor specific. I only know that I am kept both physically and mentally by someone to whom I have wonderfully, hopelessly, purposefully, romantically, and respectfully given power. I welcome the sense of being held, restrained, disciplined and having the ability of speech restricted in glorious and elegant ways.

I desire to be bound, to be told what to wear, to be told what to do and when.  Where did these thoughts arise? How is it that I am totally drawn to something that puts me in such a relationship....one where I give myself completely and trust that I'll be respected and desired in return.

This is about connections for me, not mindless sex and punishments. Honestly I do not understand how anyone can thrive solely on that and find fulfillment. I value form, balance and strive for elegance in everything that passes my way. I'm hopeful for a Dominant that is educated beyond what common sense dictates and can see into the world of potentials and possibilities.