Long time coming

My greatest strength is my vulnerability, however, that is also my biggest liability. It means I stand to hurt easily. I risk big to win big, but then I lose big too. I am submissive, never been a slave, but some dominants say that I have the truest slave heart. I don't know. That would be for you to decide. 

I am atypical. I don't fall into easy categories. I am educated, financially stable, politically independent/progressive, religiously spiritual (not into any organized religions), temperamentally goofy, whacky, fun, reflective, introspective, and kinkwise easy to train in the right hands.

Lifestyle wise, I identify as a babygirl. I am not into Daddy/daughter or incest play. Rather, as a baby girl I offer the most vulnerable, unguarded part of me to my Daddy. Daddy knows best, and is my hero. My job is to keep Daddy happy, and Daddy takes care of the rest. I have faith in Daddy that he can fix anything, and Daddy is never wrong, because even when he is wrong, he fixes his mistakes, therefore, from my adulating, worshipful baby girl perspective, my Daddy is the best. The right dominant will probably be able to take me way out of my comfort zone if he can help me go into deep submission, a space that I crave.  Either way, I expect my dominant to be able to access my mind any way he pleases because surrendering to him mentally, from a deep space is liberating, fun, and binding.

My mind is my strongest asset and if a dominant knows how to control my mind, he would find it easy to control my body, introduce me into deep, dark, recesses of human sexuality, open doors that I was too scared to open myself, and take us on a journey of trust, uninhibited expression of passion, primal energy, and authenticity. 

I try not to put out there that I am looking for someone. I have found that the best opportunities arose when I wasn't looking but just was being myself. So here I am being me. If you feel like being yourself with me, talk to me. I am especially drawn to educated men, men who can articulate their thoughts well in English, who are motivated, in a career of their own, financially stable, introspective, and understand that the stronger the character of a woman, the deeper is her submission and devotion. 

BDSM Realization

There is no better feeling than meeting someone's needs and be their dream. To not have to worry if I'm doing it right because the instructions and directions are clear. To not have to worry about my limits or fears. I haven't been there yet, but it's why I'm here. 

I was raised by a strong and disciplined woman.  For the longest time, I couldn't understand these feelings.  Finally, I'm at a point in my life where I've accepted the fact that these submissive desires aren't going away.  I know I'm tired of insecure men who flounder around trying to make me happy. Guys who are intimidated by a beautiful woman or ones who would drop their worlds to make me happy. Silly guys.  I'm already so happy. I have a lot to share and give. 

As far as sexuality, I feel experienced but, I'm sad to say, there is sooooo much I haven't done. When I was younger, I didn't want anyone to look at me like a whore...but the cravings were always there. I want a man to guide me, train me and teach me. One who isn't afraid of leading me. I want to be and do everything he's ever wanted. I want him to show me things I've never imagined wanting....

Intense Impact Cane

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Baring My Soul

Master, I have thought long and hard, through meditation, of my actions as of late. I have many things I would like to share with you. I love every task you set out for me. Why? Every one is special and just for me. This is calming to my soul. It's as a caress of your hand to my heart.

My behavior on Thursday was unacceptable and ridiculous. All I can do is apologize and bare my soul in this regard. First of all, I trusted my life with you, that's why I showed. Secondly, I acted stupidly and ruined your precious plan. My switch personality reared her ugly head and destroyed your perfect moment. How dare I!!! I have since buried her. Never to be seen again.  I deserved that punishment and I deserve discipline for stealing your fire. I bow my head in shame for the pain I caused chasing after you. :( Thirdly, Lord knows I could have expressed my thoughts with much more grace than I did

I thank you for your patience and your ear. I cannot lose you. You are a part of my soul. I cherish all we have and beg for your continued patience and hand in my training. I pray you sleep well. Tomorrow is another day for me to prove my submission worthy of your guidance...and I am thankful for such!

Finding My Dom

After a long search, I have found my Dom.

I searched high and low on bad sites like CollarMe, BDSMSingles and good sites like Alt.com.  I screened numerous Doms that started out well enough but didn't match in time or place.  I read messages from a plethora of others that know nothing about Domination versus abuse...girls beware - there are a lot of guys not looking to train but just abuse...before finally finding the One to whom I've committed my trust, my training and my collar.

We started by exchanging a few messages on the adult personals website, ALT.com. It wasn't until a long period of talking anonymously that we finally arranged a date to meet.  Right away, I could tell there was something different about him.  He was confident almost - bordering on but never going over to - cocky.  He was intelligent.  He was calm...and he was experienced.

He told me 'discovered' his Dom side about four years prior.  He was dating a girl that was a professional, in her daily life, but submissive in their bedroom behavior.  He told me that he had always known he was an 'aggressive' lover - enjoying rough sex - but until he met one that was overtly submissive (rather than passive) he didn't discover that he was Dominant.  We talked for a long period - about his experiences, his training and his life - and I knew I had to know more.  We spoke further throughout the next week before we agreed to meet for a trial 'session'.  It wasn't so much a Dom/sub encounter as it was a natural, sexually-charged and sexually-stimulating evening.  He took me aggressively and our sex seemed natural.  It was then, and only then, that I knew....I had found my one.

I look forward to sharing this journey with my first true Dom and sharing my journey within these writings.

Bondage

I saw this poster online the other day and thought it was so appropriate.

I don't want someone that is anxious. I love the slow, methodical confidence of a true Dominant. I don't want him to have sex with me right away. I want him to use me as his sex toy. I want to role play and be told how to worship his cock. I want to be held in bondage, pinned against the wall and forced to do what he asks....all with calmness, confidence and creativity...without cockiness. Why is it so hard to find one that truly understands how to dominate!

My Mind and Soul. I am a Submissive

My mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know only as He can. I have no secrets from Him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly His. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and i do not want walls. His training and lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons He has decided that I need, and so I learn from Him. My soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at His feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel His presence, be He miles away or standing over me. If I were to ever displease Him, His displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any lashes could be. The anguish of my soul that I feel when I disappoint Him is harder to bear than any physical anguish I feel. I am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend His time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job, to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to Him. O accept His collar and His bondage. I am His pleasure and His responsibility, and He takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that, my submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to the One who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold. Only to my Master who has that strength, will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud. I am a submissive woman.